The Power of Advocacy and Action: One Mom’s Breast Cancer Story

A clogged duct that wouldn’t clear. A waitlist that stretched into weeks. And a gut feeling that wouldn’t let go. When our friend Kelly—a 37-year-old mom of three and ER nurse—pressed for answers, the diagnosis came fast and loud: stage three, HER2-positive breast cancer with lymph node involvement. What happens next is not a bleak spiral, but a blueprint for action, clarity, and care.

We walk through the science in plain English: why HER2 overexpression accelerates growth, and how targeted therapy plus modern chemo can work surprisingly quickly. Kelly shares what treatment actually feels like today—steroid-fueled “good days,” a short dip, then a rebound—and the small, gritty details that matter, from metallic taste to scalp tenderness. She opens the curtain on the system too: navigating approvals for immune support meds, weighing genetic testing’s benefits and insurance tradeoffs, and choosing not to cold cap so resources could go where they mattered most.

Parenting threads through all of it. We talk about telling kids the truth without fear, looping in schools, and building a new routine around infusion cycles—meal-prepping on high-energy days, resting without guilt on low ones, and protecting energy from social drains. There’s humor and heart in the hair story: turning loss into a family ritual, finding a wig that feels like her, and even a partner’s matching buzz. Looking ahead, we map the surgical roadmap—spacers, possible radiation, staged reconstruction—and why young age and recurrence risk shape those choices.

If you’ve ever dismissed a “clogged duct,” felt too young for screening, or pushed your own health to the bottom of the list, this conversation is your nudge. Postpartum changes can hide warning signs, and breast cancer risk spikes in the first five years after delivery. Feel something new? Don’t wait. Advocate hard. Get the imaging. And let your people help.

Join Kelly as she shares her real-time journey through breast cancer and beyond 🌷
 ✨ Instagram: @kellyw_travelmore
 

Chapters

• 0:00 Local roots, motherhood, and Kelly’s intro
• 1:00 The lump, delays, and self-advocacy
• 3:00 Diagnosis details and treatment plan
• 5:20 Chemo realities and rapid response
• 7:40 Sharing publicly and finding community
• 9:40 Fear, resilience, and mindset shifts
• 12:00 Insurance hurdles and genetic testing
• 14:10 Parenting through treatment and school support
• 16:30 Rest, emotion, and modeling vulnerability
• 19:00 New routines, work, and planning around chemo
• 21:00 Reordering priorities and protecting energy
• 23:00 Travel, hair loss, and making meaning
• 26:00 Reconstruction options and surgical roadmap
• 28:00 What moms need to know and act on
• 31:00 Final reflections and community CTA

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Hey friends, and welcome to Mom Talk Maryland. I'm your host, Claire Duarte, founder of the Columbia Mom. And this is your spot for real conversations, local love, and a whole lot of community. Whether you're folding laundry, running errands, or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet, let's dive in. Well, I am so glad you're here, Kelly. First of all, it's so good to see you. I know it's been like a few months since I last saw you, but like we don't know we've been staying in touch. Um, but uh I've actually we've known each other for a few years. But you've known my husband, obviously. Since kindergarten. Oh my god, that's crazy. So real like Columbia Roots. Yeah, for sure. Um, Oakland Mills graduate. Um we went to high school with uh, or like I said, all of the school with Richard. Um, and you're a mom of three. Um, you're a nurse, um, and but you also started your travel agency business too. Yep. Um, so we've gotten to share some of that, which has been really fun. But I'm really happy to have you here in the month of October with breast cancer awareness because you were recently diagnosed. And um, so I'm so glad that we can kind of have you here to talk about just obviously I want to hear your life updates and how everything's been going. Um, but just so we can talk about just like all things women's health, um, as as you've been like literally living it.

SPEAKER_00: 1:27

Yeah. Um, so crazy, right? Because really, you don't get your first like mammogram until age 40, right? That's when they say to get it. And here I am in the midst of breastfeeding, thinking right. Yeah. I am thinking.

SPEAKER_01: 1:44

Which for the record, you're 37?

SPEAKER_00: 1:46

Yes, 37. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:47

So I'm still young.

SPEAKER_00: 1:48

I mean, in you know, clinical terms, right? Exactly. Yeah. Um, so I had my son later, they considered advanced maternal age, which seems crazy. Um, but as I was breastfeeding him, I was having issues with my right breast getting clogged and unclogged and clogged and unclogged, and then finally, the final time that it clogged, it seemed to just stick.

SPEAKER_01: 2:10

Didn't really like it was yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 2:11

Yeah, didn't think anything of it. Um, went, got checked out, they gave me some antibiotics, thinking maybe it was just like infection, no big deal, started to go away, came back. Well, then when it didn't work, went to the OB. They took a look and they're like, hmm, given the timing, seems like an abscess. Okay, seems logical to me. Right. Well, you know, our lovely healthcare system, I wasn't gonna get a ultrasound to really diagnose it until like a month later. So I know, right? Crazy. Yeah. Um, and it's a good thing that I have the clinical background that I do because I noticed I was like, this is getting bigger, it's not getting smaller. At what point did you notice it getting bigger? So I first noticed it stick the this is how quickly it is. June. Okay, like middle of June. Uh-huh. I saw my OB by the time I did like everything July. Okay. I wasn't gonna be seen until the end of August. So by the beginning of August, I was like, something's wrong.

unknown: 3:13

Damn.

SPEAKER_00: 3:13

And I reached out to my charge nurse. Luckily, I work in the ER, so I've had those connections. Right. And I was like, I need this looked at. And she's like, Yeah, you do. So they got me in. Um and even then, radiology report was saying abscess. Luckily, we have the team that we do because our surgical PA looked at it and she's like, Look, I could dig around in your boob, but I'm gonna tell you right now, I don't think that's an abscess. So they got everything rolling. So this was a Saturday. By Monday, I saw my surgical doctor, and then by Tuesday, Wednesday, I got everything rolling.

SPEAKER_01: 3:48

Wow.

SPEAKER_00: 3:49

Yeah. So you're talking three weeks I had um two ultrasounds, two mammograms, a PET scan, an echo, a port placement, and I had started chemo all in three weeks.

SPEAKER_01: 4:05

And oh, do can we tell everybody that you also like bought a new house and moved?

SPEAKER_00: 4:10

And you have kids that are remind me all of their ages? Seven, five, and he'll be one in October.

SPEAKER_01: 4:17

Yeah. Like in the middle of summer when you want to be not not that you're obviously like off or any mom is off, but like, you know, trying to settle into your new home and all of that. Had you guys officially moved in?

SPEAKER_00: 4:28

Yeah, we'd actually officially moved in, and luckily all of the construction had finished. But yes.

SPEAKER_01: 4:33

Oh my god. So you I mean, thank God that you again like work in the health system and you have some of those connections, but you're you basically made that happen.

SPEAKER_00: 4:45

Yeah, essentially. Yeah. I advocated for myself, and I think that's like a big thing. Like, if you really think that something doesn't feel right, advocate for yourself. Yeah. Like push through it, talk to whoever you need to, because by the time my tumor was found and diagnosed, I was already stage three. And it already taken over two of my lymph nodes, too. Oh my god, Callie. So it was like seven centimeters by the time they actually like diagnosed it.

unknown: 5:12

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00: 5:13

So it's like bigger than a lime. It is big. Yeah, shit.

SPEAKER_01: 5:18

Um Oh my god. And so, yeah, so tell so tell me now, what's what's the current update? Like you obviously you've gone through all your tests, and what was a formal diagnosis?

SPEAKER_00: 5:31

So I have um what's known as HER2 positive breast cancer. Um, my cancer in particular is related to a protein that creates too many cells to form. There are some that are hormone-based, but mine aren't. So mine's just strictly related to this protein. Um, so my targeted therapy, I get chemotherapy to tackle the tumor, and then they give me additional meds that target that protein from you know, preventing from developing. Um so it's very specific and it works extremely well. Um, one thing that they look at when they diagnose you is your cell split rate, and mine was 80%, so that's pretty quick.

SPEAKER_01: 6:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 6:14

Um, but that's also good because that means it makes it extremely treatable.

SPEAKER_01: 6:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 6:19

Because I was gonna say that sounds like that would match up well with this treatment. So like people think aggressive is like bad in this case, but actually it it worked in my favor. Yeah. So I had one round of chemo, and I'm telling you right now, my right side when I first started before chemo looked like an implant. Now it's completely normal.

SPEAKER_01: 6:38

Dang.

SPEAKER_00: 6:39

I can't even feel the tumor anymore.

SPEAKER_01: 6:40

I w want to laugh, but I it's like it's like you're because like the women were like, oh man, especially after a breastfeeding, they're like, you know, one side that looks perky, and then one side that just looks sad. I know this this is definitely I know something's definitely wrong, but I don't hate it, but I do. Like, I guess you have to laugh through the trauma a little bit. You do a lot of laughs. We you have to. You have to, I think, because all that's all we think about now as moms. We're like, hmm.

SPEAKER_00: 7:04

Well, it's funny too, because they uh part of like going through this whole process is they tell you, you know, worst case scenario, you have to get double mastectomy. And yeah, yeah. I'm like, oh, okay. And they're like, but you get to change your size.

SPEAKER_01: 7:17

Oh, you get to have freshly formed ones, you know. Like, right, exactly. You gotta, you gotta look at the silver linings here, I know. Um so okay, so how long ago did you officially start your treatment?

SPEAKER_00: 7:32

Um, I started beginning of September, I think it was September 3rd was my first treatment date. And I had my second round this past Friday. Wow. So chemo's crazy, right? Because like everyone thinks like you're gonna be down and out like right when you get it. But they load you with steroids like the day before, the day of, and the day after. Oh, okay. So those are actually my like really good feeling days. So like once all like those long-term meds wear off, like in the nausea meds and stuff, yeah, then you start to feel kind of crummy. Right. But I was shocked because then after my first round, so you have, you know, Friday I got chemo, Saturday I felt fine, Sunday I felt fine.

SPEAKER_01: 8:09

Because it's infusion, right?

SPEAKER_00: 8:10

Yeah, so I have a port that they infuse through. But by Wednesday I felt fine. So like when you're talking about like medications and stuff that they use to treat, it has become leaps and bounds. Isn't that crazy? From even five years ago.

SPEAKER_01: 8:26

That is crazy.

SPEAKER_00: 8:28

Yeah, yeah. So like I'll feel, you know, drained today, but by tomorrow I'll start to feel better.

SPEAKER_01: 8:34

That's insane.

SPEAKER_00: 8:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 8:35

You know, I mean, honestly, I mean, I kind of love that. Again, I I know you personally for all these years. So I I kind of love the way that you've been sharing this. I know that like it's such a hard ass thing that you are walking through. Um, but I don't know, it's just obviously like I know that I'm a social media person and you are too, you know, but I just your authenticity with it and just like I'm I'm kind of like walking my truth, I'm sharing my experience, and you're not even going about it in this like I don't know, showy way or how-to way either. It's just like I love how transparent you're being about like, you know, I'm feeling okay so far. Obviously, you want to let like your friends and family know, you know what I mean? But and um I can only imagine too that kind of when we do open ourselves up like that and on these platforms, right? I feel like it can help invite in a little bit more community. You know what I mean? I can f and I can only imagine like how much that can help.

SPEAKER_00: 9:37

Yeah. And that's I think when I first like opened up about it, that was what overwhelmed me was how many people my age or younger have breast cancer or had some form of cancer or you know, are going through it right now, like, hey, I found a lump, um, I'm going to get checked out. I had, I'm not even joking, you probably 10 people like individually message me, like I've had this stage, this stage, this stage, but are around my age. Like crazy. It just seemed crazy that it doesn't seem more um aware, I guess. Like you would think it'd be something like in your yearly checkup, like, hey, just by the way.

SPEAKER_01: 10:19

Right. I mean, they you know, they I know in our I obviously well, you're probably more in the OP than I am at this point, but like, you know, they they they'll they'll feel around, but you know. Um I know. Well, it's like I had a friend that just turned 40, so she just and luckily again, she's also in the medical field, so she like scheduled her mammogram like the day. I was like, Carl, you don't need to put it on your birthday. Like it doesn't need you know what I mean? Like she was like, I she had it scheduled, and I was like, for me, I'm like, I'll get to it. Um, but you know, um, and so she was like recently telling me about the experience, and um and she and I'm sure this happens a lot of times. She was telling me that she was like, I got girl freaked out because they felt something. Ended up being nothing and being benign once they like you know checked it out. But nothing beats that kind of fear.

SPEAKER_00: 11:06

Oh my god, it was terrifying. Um I just I think that was probably like the one time that I just absolutely broke down, like when they tell you you have cancer. Like I've already had traumatic experiences in my life from losing my daughter's father.

SPEAKER_01: 11:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 11:22

And here I am, the only person for them. And it y you almost get like death thrown in your face, like, oh my god, I might I might die. You know? But um I love my healthcare team because they're like, look, this is scary, this is very scary, and they're like, but know that we have come so far in this that it will be hard, yes, and it will be long, but you're gonna make it thorough, and it's gonna be a distant memory and you're gonna be there for your kids.

SPEAKER_01: 11:56

I know, but like I know. I knew this would happen. Yeah, there's not it's we're not gonna be able to avoid it because our kids are the same age. And again, like I know I didn't know your kid's father, but like I'm we remember hearing all of that too.

SPEAKER_00: 12:09

And so like when we found when we got her the news, Richard and I'm like, Jesus Christ, like you've already been through I know, and you know it's so funny, like uh I'm very positive about it, but like I called my mom like a day after, and I was like, Why me? Like, why? Of course, of course, I was just like screaming and yelling, and I I I appreciate her being my soundboard because I know it couldn't have been easy because I was just you know, not choice words, just so upset. Um but you know, I there probably is a reason why me. Um in that I am hopeful and and I want this to be like a passion project for me now, you know what I mean? Like raise awareness, um get people involved, make people realize that it doesn't have to be so scary or isolating. Right. Um and just get more people that are like younger, like more aware. I know. So that way they don't go through you know what I have to go through.

SPEAKER_01: 13:07

I know, especially like with these little kids. And and I don't again, because you know, I've been fortunate thus far to not have had encountered something like this myself yet, but watching you, um again, you're kind of demystifying some of my own thoughts about it. Like, you know, again, I would have assumed that you would have been down and out of like, how do you work? How do you so take care of your kids? And you know, again, I'm not paying attention to the medical side of that world necessarily, other than from hearing it maybe in the news or maybe from some people that have gone through treatment. But like, I mean, I I'm so glad to hear that you get to benefit from better medications, better treatment, better cer um, better um better treatment overall, you know what I mean? And that's coming from probably the all the thousands dollars of research that has gone into this field and that can really help people and moms like you, you know, and well that brings me to my next question. So what do they say, so now you've got your treatment plan, your treatment program. What are I mean, there's you know, I love that they're already kind of you sounds like this is very effective. What are the numbers kind of look like for as far as like what's the word I'm looking for?

SPEAKER_00: 14:21

Um outcome, essentially. Um, so there's really it's kind of funny. So they have an idea of what they want to do, right, in their heads. Right. Um, given my age. I also did the genetic testing.

SPEAKER_01: 14:34

Um yeah, what did you find out from that?

SPEAKER_00: 14:36

So I won't get those results for another like two weeks, but that will also kind of determine.

SPEAKER_01: 14:42

Determine makes sense.

SPEAKER_00: 14:43

So after round five of chemo, they'll rescan everything. Right. Is that monthly? Um, it's every three weeks. Okay. So I'll be done before Christmas, hopefully.

unknown: 14:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 14:55

Um like pros and cons, right? Yeah. Um but after round five, they'll kind of see what's going on. Now, if I pop up for one of the genes, all that's out the window because it's just straight double mastectomy.

SPEAKER_01: 15:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 15:09

Right? Right. But given my age and the fact that this cancer has a high probability of coming back, they really want to just push it. Probably, yeah. But it all boils down to insurance. You know what I mean? Sure does. So dang. That's also a fun. I've never had to encounter um having to tackle insurance until I came upon this. Which you would think it it would be a no-brainer, right? But like and they're very good at explaining everything. But like one medication I get is the day after chemo, and it helps keep my immunities up, right? Yeah. Because I'm so young, they were worried they were gonna have to fight for it. Which you would think is ridiculous, right? Like, why wouldn't you just give this person this med? Right. Luckily they really they were able to get it approved, but like that's one thing that you want to do. Another process, yeah. Right, right. You're just like, oh my god, like I need this medication. Yeah. So, and then genetic testing, you know, things that you have to consider with that. Um, they tell you when you sit for your counseling session, like, just so you know, if you pop positive for a gene, you now have a pre-existing condition, which means you may not qualify for short term, you may not qualify for long term, you might not qualify for life insurance. So, like all of these things as you're like sitting in your 30s, like I potentially could use these things down the line, you know, down the road, and I might not qualify.

SPEAKER_01: 16:34

Oh my god, and what if you're already what if all of those are already like in place or something like that?

SPEAKER_00: 16:38

Like luckily I'm good because I've been at my job for a while. Like I always think of like glass half full, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm in a great job, I have a great employer, yeah. Um, you know, they've worked with me through everything. Yeah. And I luckily have all those things in place, so I didn't have to worry about it. But like if I was in a different position, you know, like all these things could be taken away from me. And I just I always try to find blessings where I can, for sure.

SPEAKER_01: 17:03

Yeah. I mean you have to.

SPEAKER_00: 17:05

We have to as moms, you know?

SPEAKER_01: 17:07

And like so walk me through like how how did you navigate those first few weeks, like as a mom, like you got your kids and you're thinking about literally yourself, and how how how did you make it through that tunnel, you know?

SPEAKER_00: 17:26

Definitely a lot of family and friend support. Like, I have the best network of people behind me that I could ask for. You know, I have a wonderful partner, Zach, who's been there from you know, when my girls were very little and took on all that. And he's really stepped it up. I couldn't have done half the things I do without him, to tell you the truth. Like yesterday, all I could do is sleep. Yeah. So, you know, all the house stuff falls on him homework, food, changing, baths, like all of it.

SPEAKER_01: 17:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 18:00

Um, so just having that is huge. Um I've had close friends who have experienced breast cancer, so just leaning on them and asking how they approached the scenario with their kids was helpful.

SPEAKER_01: 18:15

Oh yeah. I didn't even Oh God, yeah. What what did you tell your kids or how did you talk to them about it?

SPEAKER_00: 18:23

So they just know that I'm sick. They don't really know like the extent, really. Um they know mommy has something that's like growing inside of her that she has to beat with this medicine, and they know that it affects my hair. So like I don't have hair anymore. I have a lovely wig on right now.

SPEAKER_01: 18:40

But it's iconic. I'm like, I like it's I when you put uh when I saw your stories, I was like, you could not have gotten a more perfect, like Oh, I did my research, let me tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You fruit again, spend the money, is you do it right.

SPEAKER_00: 18:54

Um so they know that like I've lost my hair, I'm not gonna feel well all the time, and they're okay with it. Um they know during that time they had to like lean on daddy more. Yeah. Um, but they've been taking it pretty well so so far. Um, I've also leaned into their schools a little bit, um, reached out to those resources just to give them a heads up of what's going on. Yeah, that's true. Because the last thing I would want is for me to be going through my struggles to also it affect my kids. Right.

SPEAKER_01: 19:22

Yeah. And I mean, you're obviously not, but I think that's smart, like, you know, notifying potential counselors if they need a little bit of that extra support too.

SPEAKER_00: 19:30

Well, and they're with them every day. Yeah. So they're gonna see things see things that I don't see. You know? Right. And probably pick up on it quicker than I would. Right.

SPEAKER_01: 19:39

Well, and you know, y we know this too from you know, raising our kids and just being kids like they're gonna perceive things differently than, you know, and it can it can be very scary to a child seeing their parents sick and vulnerable, you know what I mean? That's obviously not your fault. Right. You know, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 19:58

Yeah. And that's the other part too. I think um as moms, we always try to put up this like hard front. But I don't know if that's like necessarily good for our kids because it shows that you can't be vulnerable, and I don't think that's a good way to raise your kids. It's okay to be vulnerable. Yeah. Um, so I think like last night I was like, Do you guys want to watch a movie with mommy? And they're like, Yeah, and I was like, Mommy can't do a lot right now, but I can sit and watch a movie with you. And they just cuddled around me, and that was enough. And just like showing them that I don't have to be super mom all the time, I don't have to be running around all the time, is huge, you know, and and letting them know it's okay to rest. Yeah, it's okay to be like down and out and sick, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 20:42

Right, yeah. And I God, I love that so much. You said mommy can't do a lot right now, and I feel like obviously we're talking about you, someone who's going through literal cancer treatment, but I feel like there's so many just moms and women that just even need to hear that regardless of whether they're going through um illness or not, you know what I mean? Because we live in such a world where it's just you know, our nation values industrialism, like go, go, go, you know, um, work harder, do more, right? And slowing down is lazy and weak and dumb and stupid, right? And um, but the reality is like we all need rest. We all need to slow down, we all need to be more present. Say that I'm guilty of all of these things, but you know, um and you too. I know like we're all like busy, we are doers, you know, that's that's not a bad thing, right? But it is kind of a beautiful thing when you can model a healthy way to balance that. You know, I mean you're obviously literally being forced to do that. Um, but there's something that I I say to my kids, and I um, you know, like mommy's happy sad. Yeah you know, uh I love um because my son will say that a lot, like we finished a book and he'll like tear up a little bit. And and I my my first thought is like, oh, is he sad? But he was like, I'm so happy. And I'm like that's kind of a beautiful way. Like he like, you know, the way it just can kind of connect to you, and when we feel that, right? Like, you know, something is kind of like so beautiful it makes you cry or so sweet or whatever, and you know, um you know, uh just love being able to kind of try to communicate that with them.

SPEAKER_00: 22:20

Yeah, and have them like embrace those emotions is huge. I know. So I feel like kids they don't it's hard for them, right? Like so many things are going on and they don't know how to express it, and just to be able to let that out.

SPEAKER_01: 22:31

Oh, I know. Well, and our fri like because again, our kids are all the same age. We're like walking through that and like how I feel like I'm constantly learning about how I can better obviously be a better communicator myself, um, but also like to my kids and you know, we're learning relearning like how to emotionally regulate ourselves so that we can huge, right? Like that's like the m millennials like like job. We're we are relearning how to parent and emotionally regulate ourselves so our kids can be better emotional regulators at a time when they have no emotional regulation, right? So we're all just triggered all the time, basically. Um uh now you kind of already said this a little bit, but like what does daily life look like for you now with going through chemo, raising kids, um, and how does how has that like shifted what daily life looks like for you and your family?

SPEAKER_00: 23:27

Um so it's crazy, right? Moms, we instantly go to routine, right? You're you're gonna figure out whatever your routine has to be. Yeah, or your new normal as we Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So now that I've done one round and I kind of know what to expect, I've now prepared myself. So like before chemo, I feel great, right? And the days of chemo, I feel great. So that's like my go-to hustle. I'm preparing meals. Oh yeah, shopping, I'm cleaning, I'm organizing, I'm getting ready for when I'm down and out and just cannot do anything. And Zach knows now that like now's the time to organize, now's the time to do this, now's time to do that. Right. Um, so it's funny how like you just somehow fall into a routine. You do, you always do, yeah. And even with work, like I work overnights. So like I just had to like prepare for those nights I'm gonna be like, now would not be a good night to work. Yeah. And just work with my boss and get things rescheduled. Luckily, I, you know, do work in healthcare, so there's always a need.

SPEAKER_01: 24:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 24:31

So it's not like me coming off one day and going on another day is that detrimental. But like those that work Monday through Friday, I I don't know. I can't speak to that that way. Right, I know, so hard.

SPEAKER_01: 24:41

Um I mean, not that working overnight is easy either, but I guess you have at least less potential patients in the evening. Oh wait, you're in the ER. Yeah. Sorry, sorry. I was like, I as soon as I said that, I was like, wait, no, it doesn't make a difference. Um yeah, no, that's true. Yeah. Um and uh how has this experience changed the way you look at motherhood, health, or even just everyday life?

SPEAKER_00: 25:08

Um, you know, it's crazy. I I feel like my life goes through cycles, you know. So when Dave passed, I had like this newfound like appreciation for life and wanted to like do everything and see everything and all that, and I feel like it just re-sparked that and like wanting to spend time with family more and reconnect and you get so engulfed in your everyday tasks that at the end of the day really don't mean anything. Oh my god. Maybe three tasks a day actually have some actual importance.

SPEAKER_01: 25:42

I know, right. It's what are there certain things that you feel like that you were stressed about or worried about before that you have let go of?

SPEAKER_00: 25:53

Um trying to that's a good question. Um maybe like feeling to like just keep succeeding, you know? Like Yeah. I feel like, and that's just where we're at in life, right? Like you want to keep doing better, you want to keep doing better, but like I'm I'm okay with where I'm at. You know, like if I get a new lead, great. If not, no big deal. Right. Um I'm literally doing things just kind of for my pleasure at this point. Like I do have that side business. So like if people come to me with their vacations and want me to help them, wonderful, that just adds to my bucket of joy. Right. Um if I'm fighting for the lead, probably not going to.

SPEAKER_01: 26:39

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00: 26:39

You know, like it's not worth my time.

SPEAKER_01: 26:41

Yeah, exactly. No, exactly. Well, and I and regardless of business, right? We all go through seasons of of life personally, but seasons of life in our business too. And you are going through a very different season of life where that does not need to be the priority for you to hustle. And you know, that's not to say that that you know you might enter a new season with it down the road, you know what I mean? But you're right, I think it's like it's okay to just focus on you, your health, and your family, you know? There's nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_00: 27:08

Yeah. Yeah. But I've gotten good support out of it. Like those that do reach out are like, oh, I want to do it just to help you. And like they've been very easy to work with, so I've been very lucky with that. Yeah, that's great. Um, but yeah, just things like um, you know, you make plans with people, and it's not to say that I don't want to hang out with people or anything like that. It's just like you really pick and choose.

SPEAKER_01: 27:28

No, I thought that I was just gonna say it's all about like for for me too, it's all about like energy. It's like, you know, what do they call it? Like the energy energy drainers versus energy rejuvenators, right? It's like you're you need to be surrounded by the people that are lifting you up and supporting you and not like you know, pulling out any toxic to uh toxic negativity. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 27:53

You know what I mean? Like I feel like we get invites and we feel like we have to do these things, or like there's like some something in the universe that tells you you have to go to this. Really, you don't. You don't I know it's not gonna change anything. No. So I choose to spend that time with my my family. You know, like I'd rather I'd rather do that. There's um, you know, I have a group of girls that we try to meet up and we were supposed to have a girls' night, and I was like, you know what, guys, I'm just I'm not feeling it this week. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'd rather just spend it with my kids. Yeah. And they were okay with it. And yeah, I think just having that understanding is nice.

SPEAKER_01: 28:31

Absolutely. Yeah, you and you need to be surrounded by friends like that that aren't gonna like trip you or feel you or feel bad or anything like that. I mean, I I kind of feel like, you know, I'm too old for drama. Yeah at this point. We're young enough, but I'm like, I'm too old for any any side drama, like again, like the kids and you know, you got too much going on, you know, to have anything else that isn't serving you, you know. Um, and I think it's so beautiful you mentioned about how like that kind of like little zest for life, because like I I really do think it's amazing. You have been through some hella shit that most people in their life don't ever experience, you know, and to still be standing, to still kind of have a happiness and joy for life, like is pretty incredible.

SPEAKER_00: 29:17

Yeah, yeah. I mean I just I've always been the glass half full thinker, you know, like my situation can be so far worse. And I I really everyone's like, I don't know how you think like that. Like I don't get anywhere. But I actually I feel great, like I really do. Like I've been going to the gym, I've been eating healthy, like I find reasons to get up and do things. Um, but it does, it makes you appreciate every day. And like I went to Boston um, what like two weekends ago. Um I worked with my team, they said it was okay because that was the first thing I said. I was like, look, I like to go places, this can't slow me down. And they're like, you just have to be, you know, mindful about it. Time it right. Um, you might not be able to do long trips, but you could do like weekend trips. And I was like, perfect. That's all I need. I just need to be able to go. Yeah, right, right, right. And I'm glad I did. Um, of course, my hair started falling out, you know, while we were there.

SPEAKER_01: 30:16

So that was so talk to us about that. I loved that. Not only did you do it, right? I mean, it was, I guess, like inevitable, but I just thought, like, how beautiful was it you did it, not only like with your family, but the kids were right there. I mean, I've like, I mean, it was cathartic for me seeing like I feel like there's part of me that even like that healed me, just like seeing like, oh my god, look at all that love surrounding you. Like, I can't even imagine what was going through your own head, but like, I was like, oh my god, like she's walking it, she's doing it. She's kind of, I wouldn't say making you're not making just light of the situation. I mean, you are, right? But like, oh my god, like this isn't a hard, sad, awful thing. I mean, it is, right? It's it is, and and it can still be something that is shown with a lot of compassion and with the people you love. And I just thought it was so cool.

SPEAKER_00: 31:13

So it's funny. When I when we were doing it, I knew my girls wouldn't care. They they were gonna get a kick out of it. They were, yeah, they were just like laughing. I was more concerned about baby Joe, because like here, mommy would be with hair and then no hair. Right. Right. Yeah. So I had this envision in my head that he was just gonna freak out. Right. So um when I was in Boston, I was getting ready for our road trip show event, and all of a sudden my hair started falling out, and I was like, oh my god, today's the day. Why today? Of course. But of course, why wouldn't it be? Why wouldn't it be? Um so luckily I was with these really great girls, um, and they were like, well, let's just let it dry and see what happens. And I was like, okay, cool.

SPEAKER_01: 31:54

And how like how much? I'm just curious, like how much was coming out?

SPEAKER_00: 31:57

Like it wasn't, so I say it wasn't as bad. It was bad. I mean, think like postpartum hair loss, how it's just like coming out in clumps, right? By the time I got home from Boston and took another shower and and did my hair, it was just, and maybe these 90s kids will know this reference, but do you remember the craft, the movie?

SPEAKER_01: 32:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 32:16

And Alicia Stilverstone's character, how it was just like falling out. That was my experience.

SPEAKER_01: 32:23

Oh my god. Yeah. How did how did that make you feel?

SPEAKER_00: 32:26

Oh my god, it was I knew it was gonna happen. I just didn't expect it to happen that quick and that fast, you know? Yeah, right. Um, but the alternative was they do provide what's called cold capping. I've heard of that. Yeah, which is an added expense. It ends up being between like three to five hundred dollars a session. It can be painful. And I was like, Yeah, I was like, three grand to keep my hair or have it fall out and come back. You know what I mean? Right, right. I I feel like those that funding could be used for something else. Yeah. Trip to Disney, who knows, right? That's exactly I was gonna say, yeah. Um so uh I'm glad that I waited. I was about to pull the trigger in Boston and just go ahead and shave my head because I was like, I don't want to meet all these suppliers and my hair is just falling. Right. But I'm glad I waited because it was, it was definitely a therapeutic experience for me to have the girls there and have them involved.

SPEAKER_01: 33:30

Well, it sounds like you were definitely like with good people, but I think you were with better people. Like, you know, in in an even better situation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 33:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 33:39

Of course, my mom just had cataract surgery, so I don't know if she should have been shaving my head, but you know, the what that first cup's never gonna be right exactly.

SPEAKER_00: 33:48

Oh my gosh. But no, it was it was great. Everybody got a little piece, and then um I didn't actually show this, but Zach ended up shaving his head too. Yeah. Aw, that's so sweet. So we're both bald. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01: 34:01

What does it feel like?

SPEAKER_00: 34:01

You don't need to take off your hair, but it's so chemo's weird, right? It like changes all of your senses. Yes. So my scalp is like tender some days. Yeah. Um, I do have like bald patches now, so like it's not just a buzz cut anymore. Right. Um, but it was weird. Definitely weird at first. Yeah. Because you you see yourself, right? And this is how you look every day. Yeah. Your whole life. Your whole life. Right. And now it's completely different. But it's I I'm wearing my wig now and I wear it to work or warn it to work. Um when I'm just at home though, no need. That's fine. Just hats.

SPEAKER_01: 34:38

I don't be I wonder what it'll be like. Well, you have different like you changes the way you feel, right? How will that affect you with like seasons and stuff? Have they said anything about that?

SPEAKER_00: 34:47

Um, so part of treatment, they will say they do say that you have um like peripheral vascular like um tenderness. So I do have things that I use for that. They're called um what are they called? Susie pads, um, which kind of helps with the um the pain. But um, yeah, like my taste buds, they go away for like a week and a half at a time. Oh dang. Yeah, yeah. And for someone who loves food, this is very I know. Actually, I was telling people, my one joy every morning is my cup of coffee, right? You know? Oh god. So like imagine you go to drink your cup of coffee that you you specially prepare, you put your creamer, you know, all of your likings. And it just tastes like tar.

SPEAKER_01: 35:31

Oh it's see, it's one thing to not taste it before when it, but it like I remember like with COVID, like when I had COVID. Again, it hit everybody a little bit different. I remember the it definitely changed my my taste with most things, but the one thing that was so sad and disappointing to me, it was coffee was was one of them, but wasn't as bad was Chip-fil-a sauce. It literally tasted like metal. It tasted so bad, and it made me so sad. I was like, wait.

SPEAKER_00: 35:56

Yep, everything I taste tastes like guitar or like a metallic type taste for about a week, week and a half. Oh wee, that's brutal. But damn. But if that's you know the major side effect, I'll take it. I know, I know. Oh my gosh. Because I really I thought I was gonna be like bent over a toilet every day just vomiting. But that has been the least side effect, tell you the truth.

SPEAKER_01: 36:18

Okay, that's that's yeah, yeah. Take it, right? Oh my gosh. Um, so I mean, as we get to wrap up here, like what do you what's kind of like your message to other moms and women that, you know, either are facing something similar or there are the other moms like me that maybe have, you know, again, we're kind of of that age where we haven't necessarily gotten tested yet.

SPEAKER_00: 36:45

Like, what do you kind of say to to those moms? Um, you know, so going through my journey, right? Like I I do a lot of reading. Um, and I think that's something that doesn't really get brought up a lot is your susceptibility to get breast cancer within those first couple years after you deliver your child. Damn. Which there is a spike they've seen um within like the first like five years, which can easily be dismissed because of breastfeeding or just like changes in your breast size and things like that. So, like if you have any slight inkling or concern, don't brush it off.

SPEAKER_01: 37:27

Damn.

SPEAKER_00: 37:28

Don't yeah, any lump, bump, whatever, don't brush it off. Go get it checked out. And just moms in general, like, I feel like we always put our health needs second because you know everybody else has to be checked off first. Make your health a priority, whether it's you know go for a walk, get 15 minutes to yourself, whatever, schedule that doctor's appointment, right? Do it because you don't want to be the person that's like down and out and the whole house has to keep moving, you know. And like I kick myself every day for not getting it checked earlier because I think I always knew in my head, but I was like, oh, this will never happen to me. What what are the chances? Right. Right. But it did. And had I got it caught sooner, my course might have been very different. You know, it might have been something that was only like a two-week down and out, as opposed to now it's probably gonna be like over a year to get back to square one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 38:33

Cause like if you guys when when you get the results of the genetic testing, if you move forward with the double mastectomy, which sounds like it's highly probable, whichever way it goes.

SPEAKER_00: 38:43

Yeah. Right. So and that's you know, looking at at least 12 weeks of recovery.

SPEAKER_01: 38:49

And would that be like early next year?

SPEAKER_00: 38:51

Yeah. So essentially I'll finish chemo, I'll have a break, and the way they do mastectomies now, like I could get the mastectomy and not have anything, you know, after be flat. Walk on out.

SPEAKER_01: 39:03

No shame either.

SPEAKER_00: 39:04

Yeah, um. But, you know, I still want to have a figure, so I'll I'll probably go through the reconstruction. So at that point, they put in what's called spacers. So they'll create a pocket and they increase um the spacers with saline. So like it's not like you're coming out double D's right off the bat. Like they'll slowly increase it. Okay. And then if you have to have radiation, that's when you'll have radiation at that time. Um I hopefully will not. That's what they're hoping, but they won't know until they actually get in. Right, right. Um, but then after the spacers, they'll take those out and then you get your implants. So it's like a long process.

SPEAKER_01: 39:38

Yeah, it's not just like Right, because your body has to literally go through all and is there a level of like, does your body have to be prepared to even be ready for vasectomy surgery?

SPEAKER_00: 39:49

Or is it just so you take a break from chemo, it's about like four weeks, is what they told me. Um obviously that will be dependent on labs and everything. But they're thinking four weeks um from my last treatment, and then they'll be able to do surgery because you have to get all your counts back up.

SPEAKER_01: 40:03

Right. I was gonna say you have to be stable enough to handle a surgery like that.

SPEAKER_00: 40:08

Right. Wow. Yeah. So I mean, it's gonna be a long road, yeah, but it'll be doable.

SPEAKER_01: 40:15

I mean God, if there's anyone that can do it, it's absolutely you. I mean, you why me is a never-ending question, but I guess kind of that is that beautiful thing of like, why not me? Yeah. You are healthy and strong and you have the ability to fight through it, and you have an incredible family support system. You're also recently engaged too. I know. So I'm sure that maybe makes planning um a little wonky, but still kind of a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_00: 40:43

Yeah, it's crazy because we we've already determined what we're gonna do for the honeymoon. We have no idea for the wedding.

SPEAKER_01: 40:49

The plan. Yeah. That's all that matters. Right. Yeah. Especially like now, you know. But um well, that's awesome. Um, well, thank you so much for your time, Kelly. And I'm glad that I could kind of hear more of the details of your story and you know, just you know, uh moms, like, you know, take care of ourselves. Like, I mean, you're walking proof. I mean, I had no idea how quickly a mass can grow. And I'm sure maybe it depends too, and maybe it's different other people as well. But you just said like in a matter of a few weeks, probably what, like six weeks?

SPEAKER_00: 41:23

Really? Fast. Yeah. You know, went from maybe like the size of a quarter to seven centimeters. Yeah, that's huge.

SPEAKER_01: 41:33

That's that's really big. And I I think in my brain, I would have assumed that would have like grown in that size in like months, not weeks or six weeks. So um that kind of like wakes myself up to be like, okay, yeah, if you feel something, do not wait. You know what I mean? And that there are awesome resources and doctors, especially in our area, I feel like. Yeah. Oh yeah. So um, well, thank you so much. And um, please keep us posted on your amazing story. Yeah. Um, and I love hearing your journey. We're fighting for you and cheering you on too.

SPEAKER_00: 42:08

So thank you for having me. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01: 42:10

I'll do this again. Yes, for sure. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Mom Talk Maryland. If you loved it, leave a review, share it with a friend, or tag me at the dot ColumbiaMom on Instagram. I'd love to hear what you think. And don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode. Until next time, keep showing up, keep supporting local, and keep being the incredible mom, woman, human that you are.