Momtalk Maryland
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Momtalk Maryland
Rethinking Youth Sports: Coach Bobby's Multi-Sport Revolution
What if everything we thought we knew about youth sports was wrong? What if the path to raising successful, happy athletes isn't through early specialization, elite programs, and intense training schedules for elementary-aged children?
Coach Bobby joins us to challenge conventional wisdom about youth sports with research-backed insights from his 15+ years of coaching experience. Having worked with athletes from toddlers to professionals, Bobby has crafted a revolutionary approach to introducing young children to sports through his "Have a Ball" multi-sport program.
His philosophy—"no lines, no laps, no lectures"—creates an environment where children ages 1-5 can actively engage with multiple sports simultaneously, building fundamental skills while maintaining what matters most: the joy of play. Through a unique combination of free exploration and short, focused skill-building activities, children develop athletically while parents learn effective ways to support their physical development.
We dive deep into the troubling statistics showing 75% of kids abandoning structured sports by age 13, exploring how early specialization contributes to this dropout rate despite good intentions from parents and coaches. Bobby shares compelling evidence that even top college coaches and professional athletes advocate for multi-sport participation over single-sport specialization for young children.
The conversation offers practical guidance for parents navigating youth sports decisions, emphasizing listening to your child, making decisions as a family, and prioritizing fun and friendship—the two primary reasons research shows children participate in sports. Bobby's passion for creating positive, developmental environments where children build confidence, resilience, and social skills through sport shines throughout our discussion.
Ready to rethink youth sports? Listen now and discover how supporting your child's multi-sport exploration might be the best gift you can give their athletic future and overall wellbeing. Want to experience Coach Bobby's revolutionary approach firsthand? Check out his website for free demo days and drop-in options.
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Hey friends and welcome to MomTalk Maryland. I'm your host, claire Duarte, founder of the Columbia Mom, and this is your spot for real conversations, local love and a whole lot of community. Whether you're folding laundry, running errands or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet, let's dive in, alright? Well, thanks so much for joining me today. I am coming to you from the Maryland Innovation Center once again, and today I have with us coach Bobby, who I've shared a little bit on our Instagram talking about his awesome classes, and today I kind of wanted to get to know, obviously, well, obviously I've gotten to know you, but share more about your background, why multi-sport and we we're going to kind of deep dive into that a little bit more today. So, anyways, without further ado, here's Coach Bobby.
Speaker 1:Hi how are you Thanks for having me? This is awesome.
Speaker 2:I know I was proud of you on the podcast because I love an opportunity to just really talk about all this stuff and why it matters. I think it can seem very simple on the outside we offer sports for kids but there is a deeper meaning as to why we do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely so. For anyone that's maybe new or hasn't heard about you, can you give me, give us, a little bit of a background on you and tell us about your business?
Speaker 2:Sure, so I've been. It's odd to say I've been a youth coach for over 15 years, because it's definitely not. It has not been a full-time career for that entire time. When I first graduated college, I actually started a business doing leadership and team building. So I was working with sports teams, high school, middle school kids, as well as college teams. That evolved into working with some professional groups and doing some corporate training type stuff, and then on the side I was always coaching. I thought I wanted to be a college coach. At one point I was a lacrosse player. I coached junior college at Hartford Community College for one season and I loved coaching. I did not like recruiting.
Speaker 1:I found that just boring and not what I wanted to do.
Speaker 2:And so I stopped doing that and was kind of looking for what I really enjoyed. And what I found I really enjoyed was youth coaching. I coached third grade lacrosse. I ended up I coached high school at St John's College. High school was my most recent stint and, again, none of those were ever full-time gigs in that space and I did look into different club programs to be a coach or a director at and we can get into the podcast why that wasn't the route for me, found myself actually through that conversation of wanting something that was more multi-sport, more focused on fun, more focused on development.
Speaker 2:Found myself as a co-director of a sleepaway camp in the. Catskills of New York, which was amazing it was a lot of fun, my entire family. We went up there from Memorial Day to Labor Day every year. It involved. We hosted weddings, we hosted sports camps, we hosted retreats, so it was a great experience, but this is ultimately, you know, coming spending the summer here this summer for the first time since being a kid, and starting Coach Bobby is an outgrowth of that.
Speaker 2:It's saying this is what I really want to do and bring to the world of sports. And, and it being the business is saying how can this be what I do full-time, instead of just, you know, coaching my kids at nights and on weekends? Not that that's right. I have a two-year-old and a three-month-old, so they're not.
Speaker 1:They're not into it yet. But yeah, not that I don't want to coach them. She likes the classes. Yeah, but I don't want to coach them.
Speaker 2:She likes the classes, but I don't have to. You know, maybe someday I'll coach their teams. But being able to bring this to the community is what I've ultimately wanted to do for a while now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so tell me a little bit more about your. Have a ball classes.
Speaker 2:So have a ball is when you come in. I think the key factor is when you get to the gym. Everything's already set up. So, as some of your videos showed, we have basketball, which is age appropriate, because these particular classes right now are for ages one to five years old, which seems like a wide range. The concept is you can bring your whole what I call stay at home family. So it started with different age brackets of two year old, three year old, four year old, five year old class, and then I would have parents reach out and say you know, I've got a two year old and a five year old at home. Can I bring them both to the same class?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I'm very much like let's try it and see what happens.
Speaker 1:So the first.
Speaker 2:I was. I was very honest. I was like how about you bring them? We'll see what happens. If it's not good, we won't do it, and so there's a lot of free play where the kids come in. There's basketball, hockey, soccer, lacrosse, baseball, all this stuff and it's all soft equipment so kids can use it on their own. They're not going to get hurt and the first 10, 15 minutes is just free play, letting these kids explore and try things out. I then bring the group in to the center, where I have.
Speaker 1:Home Depot buckets you can get wraps.
Speaker 2:I'll eventually brand them, but I've been using. I don't know they might become part of your brand. It's kind of a thing. Now I actually have had parents send me videos of their kids using Home Depot buckets at home, but that started, I don't know again, coaching sport For me I actually started doing that at sleepaway camp is we had these buckets and I was seeking ways to not put kids in lines. I don't want kids in line waiting to hit a baseball, then 80% of your class is waiting in line.
Speaker 2:I can remember as a kid waiting in line. You get up there and even if you don't hit it, you've got to go back to the back of the line and wait again. And so that's where the buckets came from was how can I create environments where the kids are not in lines and they're constantly doing the thing that we're trying to learn, whether it's catching, throwing, hitting, and so everything's the bucket based circle time.
Speaker 1:So we'll do that for about three minutes.
Speaker 2:It's very fast and then you're back to free play for another three minutes. Then you're back to the buckets for three minutes and then it's a nine week class. By the end of the nine weeks we will have done skill based instruction with each sport.
Speaker 2:So, we start with catching and throwing, then we move on to jumping, catching and throwing, then we move on to using the hockey sticks, then we move on to the lacrosse sticks you name it, and it's just testing and trying out each of these different things by the end of the nine weeks.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and now that I've officially gone to two classes and I think it's really cool hearing you kind of break it down, because you're not just like a pre-K director or manager overseeing the chaos, like there is a method to the madness. There's almost like a curriculum, if you may. Like you said, you're moving them through multiple different sports, multiple different skills and there's intentionality with each structure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the foundational principle for me is the and I didn't make this up, it's from long-term athlete development. They say no lines, no laps, no lectures, no laps, no lectures. Hopefully it's not relevant for this age group there are some coaches that might do it but no lines for me. Because even when I was coaching middle school lacrosse, I was really committed to no lines and the varsity coach would come to my practice every now and again and was like have you never heard of line drills? Have you never heard of like? He was just so thrilled by this idea and I was very committed to.
Speaker 2:This is how I want to do it, because I also experienced it.
Speaker 1:You know when I was coaching at St John's they didn't do lines.
Speaker 2:That is a 60 minute practice of these players just running the entire time, and so there's no conditioning that they're doing. And when I was there I say it because it's relevant we were the number one team in the country, like we won the national championship. When we were there, I was an assistant coach.
Speaker 1:I'm not because of bobby. Let's make sure that that is on it's relevant.
Speaker 2:It's relevant because, uh, then it obviously it works and obviously it's okay for them. And so why is it not okay for our four or five and six year olds to say we don't need to be conditioning, we just need to constantly be running for the entire 4560 minutes that?
Speaker 1:we're right, that's huge. And I mean I remember you sharing with me a little bit about your St John's bit, but I didn't think, and even even winning, but I didn't realize the intricacies of, like you said, there wasn't any real conditioning. But I mean that's kind of the power of it and I think again, I am not a PT, I'm not an OT or you know a child psychologist to understand all this. But I was like I feel like it just makes so much sense, especially for this age group, makes so much sense, especially for this age group. But obviously we're arguing, even for the high schoolers too, that just this methodology behind I need better words for this but kind of like they're, kind of they're keeping or just the principle you said, no lines, no laps no lectures.
Speaker 2:There we go, I'm going to learn it.
Speaker 1:You know so, because I think especially for those younger kids. I mean, I have a now. He just turned five a five year old and a six year old, and like a six year old came to class.
Speaker 2:Right, she did come to class, yeah, and for the record.
Speaker 1:I was like, and I, when I was you know, because I was filming last week and I purposely didn't put her in the video because I was like, well, these classes, and first of all, she's so tall, like she's notably taller than most five-year-olds, so, um, because she's almost seven, but um and I, when she got there, she was like, oh, I don't want to do because she saw a lot of little kids, and then we started she, um, she loved it and she didn't stop. And then at one point I looked over some of your activities, like she had her, she dominated hungry.
Speaker 2:She dominated Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Speaker 1:I was like oh bro let's maybe slow it down.
Speaker 2:She had so much fun saving. They didn't know it. That was great. No, but I was like, oh, but that's one of my favorites, I actually there was this past weekend a family. So the way I do the because I want it to be a family class and my website doesn't allow me to register someone who signs a waiver for free this waiver for free this is the stuff behind the stuff, right? So I made it one dollar that's the.
Speaker 2:It's a one dollar rate for a sibling. So if you sign up your first kid, so you sign up for two-year-old and you have a four and a five-year-old, you can sign them up for one dollar. And so it's took and honestly, that came from I. We have a two and a half year old and we now have a three month old, and when the the second one was born, I looked at my wife and I was like so wait, all of our expenses just double. Like are we just paying for everything?
Speaker 2:And I get it Like from a business perspective, like a seat is a seat, but in this particular class. For me a bucket is a bucket You're with your kids on a bucket and I recognized, like it doesn't take any more work for me.
Speaker 2:The gym is big enough that we can do a family class and just the reality of it is most like I think I cap the classes at 12 participants and most my classes have nine or ten unique families, so not everybody's bringing those siblings. So, anyways, this family comes this past weekend and they have their daughter with them who's not registered, and the mom says like she's just here to observe.
Speaker 2:She didn't want to sign up for class and we didn't want to pressure into it literally within five minutes, the mom is running out grabbing a bucket and she goes I'll give you a dollar. And she sits down because the daughter wanted to play. Yeah, and, and I think that's for me a, I love seeing it. B, that's kind of like the, the proof in the concept, which is kids do just want to play.
Speaker 2:Their aspenpen Institute, based out of DC, has done a lot of research on long-term athlete development. Their studies say the top two reasons kids participate in sports is they want to have fun and they want to play with their friends. And that's it, and so that's the goal. How do we create an environment where they have fun and play with their friends? Not an environment where I'm not anti-tryouts at a certain age, but if you're doing tryouts at third grade, fourth grade, like even younger than that, right now you're taking them. Even if they make the elite team, they're not playing with their friends and are they having fun? Right, the goal is making this elite team or playing in this environment.
Speaker 2:So maybe it is not saying it not always is based on your kid based on the situation, yeah, but top two reasons fun and play with your friends, and so how we create more of those environments I love that and I think that's so important.
Speaker 1:And I think one thing that, like I went as I was getting to know you and your business and um, that uh that we clicked on like from the jump to, is you know, um, what's the kind of philosophy? I mean, it's basically everything that you embody and build the business around. But I kind of think of um other institutions, like dominique dawes gym and because they're very similar in their um philosophy too, of, you know, essentially just supporting kids, um, you know, to have fun while getting skill building, because I I think we're trying to break free of the um trophy for every.
Speaker 1:I mean there obviously is plenty of value, but I think the negative optics with that is that, like you know, are they actually learning?
Speaker 2:Are they?
Speaker 1:getting you know constructive skill building with that and I think this is again full proof of that. You know, I see it at places like Dominique Dawes and I see it with what you're doing here and that's, frankly, just so exciting. And I think, as a parent who, again, I was not a college-level athlete but I did do rec soccer and my high school soccer team was very rigorous I had very much no line drills in summer soccer camp and the intensity with a lot of that Again, not that there's, you know, necessarily problems with all of that there's a great skill building that I learned from a lot of that. But I think, you know, having this philosophy and introducing this to our kids at this age is just, it's not only just refreshing but it's just I feel like it's so needed and so appropriate for this age group you know, all right, refreshing, but it's just I feel like it's so needed and so appropriate for this age group.
Speaker 1:You know, um, all right and um, I think this is kind of neat. So you just basically said this about kids play sports for two for the two reasons, so kind of on that same breath, like letting kids be kids and, you know, finding balance between structure and free play in youth sports, which is essentially kind of what you've been modeling all of this. So why do you think free play is so undervalued in modern youth programs?
Speaker 2:It's a great question because it seems to me very obvious that there's great value in free play and I think a lot of coaches would agree with that too. I have my opinion and that's it. I think the only thing I can think of is when you are putting on a program and you're asking parents to spend money and you're asking parents to drive and spend time, like you know the weight of that At some level. As coaches, as directors of these programs, we almost sometimes feel that we have to be doing something all the time. We have to be creating these drills, these games, these environments. I felt that way when I first started class and I remember my first couple of classes, that you know there'd be parents that we would do three minutes of a skill and then I would start to get into another skill and you would see the kids starting to wander off and the parents are dragging them back and listen at some level. It's important that kids learn, you know, to sit and listen and do whatever Right At a certain age.
Speaker 2:I also think there should be a great environment that just lets them go play, and so that's where it came from. For me is I don't. I also didn't. As a parent, I've been to different classes where I'm doing this to bond with my kid and I find myself ragging on my kid the entire time of right makes you participate makes you come back, makes you do this when I start my classes.
Speaker 2:I say, listen, uh, you know, if you, if we ask your kid to come back to the center and they don't come back at this class, I'm okay with that right uh, and I'm not always okay with that.
Speaker 2:I'm not taking a stance as a parent that we should just never tell our kids what to do in this class. Let your kid come when they want. And there was a great I I'll have to look up the podcast for you. There was a podcast of a psychologist who was saying that over a lot of schools use circle time right, uh, and it's over time the kids will want to back and I've seen that over the course of the night weeks.
Speaker 2:There was one kid who just would not come to circle time and I was like, just like, let's let him do his thing. By week three he was coming over, he was participating, he was engaging, and so that does happen, even when free play is possible. The second part of your question is you know just why free play? And again just going back to long-term athlete development research, anyone who's listening can just google ltad and the value of free play and there is. I'm not a ptot phys ed major researcher either.
Speaker 2:I'm a coach who just was starting to see um a lack of creativity in sports, a lack of joy in sports, and and so just giving them that opportunity to free play is really powerful right the other irony of it is, when I started these classes, my dad uh laughed and said I don't get it, why not just do this in the backyard or in the driveway? And and the truth is it's just not happening anymore yeah so absolutely like right.
Speaker 2:If, if, if you can create an environment in your neighborhood or your community where kids are coming together to play and pick up basketball, then that's really powerful. Let them do that and just play. If that's not happening, then this is an opportunity to come and, yes, we are having some skill building in it, but it's also an opportunity for them to just run around and explore Right. The other side of free play at a young age is kids discover things they wouldn't otherwise. Yeah, dad was a baseball guy. He knew nothing about lacrosse. I found lacrosse, ended up loving lacrosse and I coach it, I watch it. It's my sport to this day and I have kids already in class who I get texts all the time from parents. They're like our family knows nothing about soccer. We've never played soccer and our kid asked for a soccer ball, wants a soccer goal, is obsessed with it because they learned it in your class yeah I also get.
Speaker 2:I get this a lot too, being in maryland yeah families that are like we're from florida or pennsylvania or wherever and we were trying to keep our kid away from lacrosse for whatever reason and they're like, and now our kid loves lacrosse because they found it at your, your class. But it's a great sport, right?
Speaker 2:so that's the other thing too is you let your kid figure out what they want to do instead of you, and it doesn't come from a bad place. We just introduce our kids to what we like and what we enjoy, instead of giving them an environment or opportunity to find it themselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think that so beautifully. Kind of pairs again going all the way back to your core values and what you're trying to drive with these kids. And oh my gosh, my next point was escaping me. Um, oh well, here's what I'll mention too. Um, kind of picking back off. You're talking about, like you know, kids playing like out in the streets again you know, I'm a 90s baby, so like again, that's how I grew up and how I was raised. But I also was kind of thinking about the structure of my neighborhood. It was a brand new neighborhood when my parents like bought in, so they were all young families, all little kids. Now where I live in columbia, like I'm one of the only houses with kids on my entire street and now I know that's not all columbia, there's plenty of, like you know, people's neighborhoods that are littered with kids.
Speaker 1:So for that aspect, like we just literally like my kids don't even have the option to go out, and like we can tell them to go out and play, but it's like they don't have anybody to play with, you know. So there's that aspect of you know, depending on where you live, your neighborhood situation. But two, I think what's also really appealing, coming from the mom perspective, like my perspective, like you know, I mean, I've shared this to you a thousand times and as like, specifically, like I myself am obviously a COVID mom.
Speaker 1:So, like you know, I didn't have the opportunity to take my young kids out to do any activities like this during that time frame, um so like hurts my heart a little bit, but I'm like I know I'm definitely drag grant in one of these days he will literally go nuts, um, but uh, you know, I think for moms too, I think it's a really cool it's, it's.
Speaker 1:I don't think in any way this is labeled or branded as a as a mommy me class, because it's a family class and it really is. I mean, obviously it's the majority of women that you know are bringing their kids in, but it's such a cool, different type of mommy and me class if it's, you know, in that genre a little bit.
Speaker 1:Because, you're getting to do something else that's not just like circle time or library or reading books, like your kids are active and just like you said. Like I mean, when I first heard the range of like zero to five, I was like that feels really broad. I was like how are you going to capture all those kids?
Speaker 1:And like literally like my only way to like describe is like you need to see it, sort of in action you know what I mean and like see, like how each kid can kind of like do their own thing and you know the parents are there. So you, everyone gets to be physical and everyone gets to be active and I think that's so healthy, obviously from the physical standpoint. But I also like think about, like you know, I feel like I've been spending so much time doing like all these deep dives with my own son and his growth and development, um, cause there's a whole host of things that we're doing with him, um, and I just think about, you know, know, kids brain development, especially at that age, how important that is for like essentially constant sensory input.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean, a lot of this is obviously gross motor, but it's all still the integration of fine motor skills too, which again I think is huge for this age group and you're right about the.
Speaker 2:I never like it branded it as a mommy and me or parent me, class and 100. I mean that's especially at this age. It's necessary. When you read the website I make very clear like, yeah, when you come and I set up an activity which is playing catch like you are playing catch with your kid, it's not drop off the kid.
Speaker 2:Yes, exactly and and the truth is there's research behind that about this age kids. While I can come over and give them a high five after they do a good job, they much more value the high five from their mom or their dad or their grandparent or whoever's bringing them. This is that environment to do that, and my goal is to that you can take these activities home with you. One of the you know my favorite activities is teaching a kid how to catch because I didn't know how to do that.
Speaker 2:Like when my daughter was born I was tossing her a ball and she puts her hands kind of flat out and down and it just hits off her chest.
Speaker 2:And so I Googled how do you teach a kid how to catch a ball? And I found it was this old video Like it had to be like a grainy video that was up years ago but it still works and that's where the basket came from. As you create a basket, you toss the ball through the basket and then you tell them now hug it so that it doesn't fall through the basket, and they're inherently learning to keep it up like this or kids will snatch at it, which they can't do, and so parents can take that home and do that at home. It's a simple. It's teaching you how to play with your kids in the backyard.
Speaker 2:Which so much of sports we do. What was done to us, and no different than when a parent decides to volunteer to coach their kid and they don't know what to do. This isn't their full-time job, and so you just coach the way you were coached. And just because the way you were coached doesn't mean it was the right way. It doesn't mean it was the wrong way, but there's a lot of value and there's so much information out there now and it's so easy to find it in saying well, what is the right way and how can we do it effectively?
Speaker 1:So that's the other thing I love people to take away is, yes, it's once a week for nine weeks, right, and you can take these games home and do them at home too, because you are there learning with your kids Literally Right, and you know you mentioned the part about parents doing the activities with their kids during the class and they're validating their kids and I actually think that is something that's really awesome and unique, While obviously getting external trust and relationship building with other adults in their life at this age is obviously really helpful if they're in an environment where they're trying something new that they might not have skills in, or they're learning that they might have potential skills or talents in for them to get affirmations, you know, positively in a good environment.
Speaker 1:So you know, and they're also getting social skills, even though they're not, maybe not necessarily interacting with each other directly, but there's a lot. There's actually, if you unpack it, so many skills are actually happening in there. But like I'm thinking foundationally, just going back it, so many skills are actually happening in there. But like I'm thinking foundationally just going back to that, like parent affirming their kid moment, like how important that is, because we're talking not again, not that it's every parents coming in here trying to either drive their kid to into into a sport or away from a sport.
Speaker 2:You know from their own, you know from their own, but it's just this idea of like let it bring your kid as they are and and giving them the opportunity to decide and and have fun. Well, that's I always say my, and this is how I came. I shared my, my bio briefly, and, but it paints the picture of how I got to a place. If you had told me 15 years ago that I would be primarily coaching toddlers on how to catch and throw a ball.
Speaker 2:I'd be like what happened in life, but I genuinely. This is where I've come to say I found what I love to do and what I love about it is I think my favorite part of sports is it is a low risk environment to teach kids social skills, confidence, resilience, how to fail, and it's low risk but it's not low pressure. So sports I know this from being a kid can be the most meaningful thing. You think that you're doing Like when I played high school and then college lacrosse, that was the most important thing in the world to me. Losing, being cut from a team, was just like devastating. Winning was the highest of highs. You have your lowest of lows, and so it's this environment where you can learn this resilience, and at a young I'm talking when I was in high school, college, at a young age what you're learning is, yes, when you try something, and your parent gives you a high five.
Speaker 2:They're celebrating you for trying that thing yeah and we're going to keep doing it until you do it right. I'm not saying just celebrate them doing it wrong. Celebrate them for trying it and you keep doing it until they get it right. And when they get it right now you make a big deal out of it. You celebrate them for that, and so they're learning the power of pushing through, persevering, getting the job done and on top of it, yeah, they're, they're gonna be.
Speaker 2:One of my emails that I sent out was like your kid is gonna run into another kid and fall down. Your kid is going to be holding a ball and another kid's gonna run up and rip it out of their hands. Like they're gonna build a tower of cones and somebody else is gonna knock it down. And so we're learning both things. We're learning how to handle that situation if it happens to you. We're learning the other kid of how to share and how to not rip the ball out. And all of that is happening. Yeah, in this environment that wouldn't happen if we didn't have a little bit of chaos, like a little bit of just running around and celebrating in this kind of space. And and because there there's no, each game is also not a win or lose game, it's not a. If you lose, you get out game Right which?
Speaker 2:takes away a lot of great games.
Speaker 1:Like when I work with older kids. I know, I know there's great games there are. There are.
Speaker 2:I was working with a school and the kids were begging me to play Foursquare, which I thought was crazy, that they even knew what F square was they were begging me to play, so we finally did it.
Speaker 1:It was an after-school program and I was like I got.
Speaker 2:I was like fine, we'll do it, yeah. And I said to the kids, like I explained to them, I was like the reason we haven't done it is because, like, if you get out, you're gonna sit there until you can come back in and like I think that's kind of boring, but if you're cool with it and so we did it, and honestly, after five minutes, because they gotten so used to the way we were doing games they were like this game is boring, so like again not saying there's not a time and place for it.
Speaker 2:Exactly, I just do think in this environment, in this class, it's just an environment for kids to just keep exploring. Yeah and so, yes, I think you're 100% right. There's so much that comes from that. Yeah and listen, if you want your kid to learn how to lose and learn how to win, they will do that Like this is not a replacement for a soccer league or a tournament team. It's not a replacement for it. It's another component of sports that I haven't been able to find. I was searching for a class like this and I couldn't find it, so I created it and that's all it is it's?
Speaker 2:another kind of piece of the puzzle.
Speaker 1:Well, and my hat's off to you because, again, I've only recently like met you and gotten to know you. But, um, I tagged, I labeled your classes as, like, the viral classes, not because they may be literally going like.
Speaker 2:TikTok viral.
Speaker 1:They've picked up so much steam. And you just started in January and by the time I heard about you I was like, oh my, you know, I think it was like somewhere in the spring I saw like some of my friends posting about you and I was like that looks kind of neat.
Speaker 1:But like again, in a quick flash, I was like those look like younger kids. I don't know, I didn't know, I at the time didn't know if it was for my age group. But talk to me, we've talked, obviously, a little bit about this, but like ways that, as parents, how do you think that we can keep encouraging our kids with sports, with activities, with all the different things that we do? Obviously, this class is one of them, but, like you know, we obviously cannot, you know, avoid the other types of coaches and regimens that are out there, right? I mean creating, you know, these kinds of programs are awesome and seeking them out when possible is ideal, right? How do we help encourage our kids down this path of activities while also avoiding burnout?
Speaker 2:So there's a lot to it because parents mean well, I think there's you know to say that you shouldn't do this or you shouldn't do that. Parents, they want what's best for their kid. What we do know is that I think the number is correct 75% of kids drop out of structured sports by age 13. Wow, 75%, and that's a rising number. And so people are starting to ask well, why is that? There's what's called the Tiger Woods effect.
Speaker 2:So when we were young we're about the same age Tiger Woods came on the scene and was successful and winning. And the story that was told is that when he was really young, like three years old, his dad had him golfing constantly and taught him how to golf, got him golfing lessons and really was on his case about it, and that's how he became Tiger Woods. And that's true. And so what happened was people started thinking well, if I do that with my kid, they'll be the next Tiger Woods. And coaches started thinking well, geez, if I offer that training for kids at a young age and we train and we work hard, like we can make them better. And we now know, after 20 years of right of this effect, it's just not true right.
Speaker 2:There's so many factors that go into whether someone likes golf, that much yep uh is naturally gifted at golf is is actually being taught the right things, whatever it really is.
Speaker 1:Trainers, right coaches at the end of the day.
Speaker 2:I think we all can think in our own minds of athletes that we knew as kids that were that peaked really young.
Speaker 1:They were the best in high school and they didn't go anywhere.
Speaker 2:And that's not bad, it's just whatever they didn't go anywhere.
Speaker 2:We know athletes that didn't really shine until end of high school or college, or nowadays you can go to a low D2, 3, d1 program and with the portal, whether you like it or not, like you can transfer to a better program. And so the notion that you're selling your kids short by not getting them involved in an elite club program at a young age is just false. And I listen, I will. If anyone's listening that is a director of a club program that disagrees with what I'm saying, call me, email me, let's have coffee, I will.
Speaker 2:If you're a parent and a club director is telling you that your kid's got potential, he's a stud and he's a third grader, uh, call me and I will. I would love to sit down with that director and be like look me in the eye and tell me you think that's what's best for this kid, because I just don't think it is. And I think cynically uh, because I've been a part of it from the business side you can can charge $2,000 a year, plus travel expenses, plus equipment. It's a heck of a business and I'm not here to say that those folks are evil people. I have a lot of friends who are in that side of the business, and I think they've just gotten caught up in the materialistic side of the game, the elite tournaments that parents are in and listen if your kid loves it, then do it.
Speaker 2:But the amount of times I hear parents say, oh my God, we've got another tournament this weekend. It's like you're in charge. This is your family, this is your budget, this is your kid, and don't let a club director convince you that you're making the wrong decision. When I was running a sleepaway camp had parents would say my kid loves we were a four-week camp, so you come to our camp for four weeks. Yeah, parents would come to us and they'd say, my kid loves camp their third grade. They want to come back next summer, but their baseball coach.
Speaker 2:this is a 100 true, specific example their baseball coach says they've got real potential and so they should really be playing baseball all summer and not go to sleepaway camp. What should we do? And I said we'll talk to your kid. What does he want to do? He wants to go to camp, so let him go to camp I.
Speaker 2:To me, it's as simple as that right and, and I think, parents think, well, should I be the one pushing them? I have never seen and I've worked with athletes on up to team usa, with pro athletes, with the team building and leadership company that I have. I've worked with the strength coaches for Team USA lacrosse. I've had them on my own podcast and I have never met anyone who knows an athlete that got to the top by being pushed by their parents. They all say the opposite. That is huge. You need athletes that are internally driven, that want this, that strive for it. There's not an athlete out there that was pushed there or pushed there happily.
Speaker 1:Maybe you can find an example, and I guarantee you they're burned out and they're not happy.
Speaker 2:And so I ask, I tell parents, when you're signing up for a program, talk to your kid what do you really want? Maybe it sounds silly to ask a third grader, but do it. What do you really want out of this? Um and uh, talk to the coaches and the club directors and say what is the experience gonna be? What is my kid gonna be learning? Because a lot of these programs you're gonna be doing two practices a week. You're gonna be driving a lot in the car for those practices and you're gonna be doing a lot of tournaments and even the top coaches. So lacrosse just happens to be my sport, the top division one coaches in lacrosse have gotten together just this past season to make a statement. Uh, and tillman, the maryland coach, was the head of this, like he was the main guy that spoke. And maryland is like the gold standard.
Speaker 1:You're a terp is it as much as I'm a syracuse fan, as much as it pains me to admit?
Speaker 2:you guys are the gold standard of lacrosse in my opinion right now. And he was the one saying I don't want single sport athletes that have played tournaments for the last 10 years. I want multi-sport athletes that have been training and working to get better and trying new things, and developing new skills.
Speaker 2:So it's out there. It's just parents are listening to the club director who wants you to spend the money and listen. I might be sounding cynical against these club directors. Call me out Because I have not been able to flip. Listen. Wanting a career in youth sports, it would have been easier for me to just be like okay, I'll take one of these club director jobs that's been offered to me, right?
Speaker 1:you already mentioned that, so I would love for that to have been a better option.
Speaker 2:I just don't see it as the right option for every kid at a young age. As you get older, when I was coaching at st john's, if you are 9th, 10th, 11th, your grade, and you have d1 coaches looking at you, you have coaches like that at a mi double a school in this area telling you you're good enough. That's a different story. You're older, it's a far different picture right I'm talking from, obviously, one to five, but then you're looking at like even elementary school, right?
Speaker 1:yes, well, and that kind of. Basically you're. You're already answering it, but, um, like, my next kind of question is like, what do you say to parents? Well, what do you say to parents and what are your just thoughts on this? In general? Of Obviously we're talking about club sports, but I'm also thinking about other organizations, because I know dance is a big one, gymnastics is a big one, where they require certain when you're on their teams, their competition teams and things like that, certain number of hours we're talking like two to four hours a week, know, certain number of hours we're talking like two to four hours a week and um, and it no, granted, the model with them is, you know, unlike, uh, other sports where you might have games every weekend, gymnastics and dance it's not. You don't have um recitals every weekend, but you will have those bigger competitions or performances and those will, you know, eat up a large weekend, things like that, and the frequency of those depends on the, the company and things like that.
Speaker 1:But like, what are your thoughts on again, obviously our zero to five year olds are not being approached, but like, a lot of us parents you know, as we're, we are introducing our kids to some activities, you know, from the first-ish time, and we are being approached by whether it's club directors or it's, you know, these other workers and they're, and and I'll be honest again, I have kids that are literally in activities for the first time and you know, um, and I'm seeing them, you know, interact with these skills and and, and it's awesome to see. You know, and I'm in no way pushing sports on them because I wasn't, I wasn't exactly a high level athlete, so I'm like I'll let them figure out what it is that they want to do. I wasn't exactly a high level athlete, so I'm like I'm gonna let them figure out what it is that they want to do. And I mean, in my son I see a lot of natural talent and what he's doing. He's very gross motor focus, so I love watching that develop.
Speaker 1:But you know, so when a coach or a teacher you know says, like you know, hey, like he's, you know, looking really good, I really think you know if he would be good enough to try out for the team. And then, like when you learn about all those things in number of hours, I'm like, I mean my first thought I'm like oh my god, like I have two kids to go to two different schools and I was like, just doing one, one class I'm talking about over the course of my two kids, let alone getting them in two different separate activities, is already a lot on my way.
Speaker 1:I mean, god bless all the parents. I mean obviously people do it, but just the idea of committing, like my first grader to two, uh, two to four hours a week, like I mean obviously that overwhelms me and initially, like you know it's, it's as a parent.
Speaker 1:Yes, it does kind of feel like oh wow, they really do have skill, like that's cool, you know, and and I, admittedly I feel like you can kind of I can see how you can kind of start, as a parent, start to lean into that. But anyways, my question to you is like what are your, what do you say to parents that are are experiencing some of that, and what are your thoughts with I guess, mainly, maybe, maybe we're talking about that this elementary, the k through five and even middle school age group committing that number of hours to a sport weekly Gymnastics is an interesting example because it's a very young sport.
Speaker 2:So I worked with college gymnastic D1 college gymnastics programs. I do team training. So when I do a team training it is 8 am to 8 pm in a classroom setting where we are. The goal is. I use public speaking as a way to get you out of your shell. I don't care if you're a better public speaker, but you're going to get up. You're going to give a speech to your entire team. The first one you give is you're introducing your partner. So you and I are partners.
Speaker 2:Can you get up this is Claire and really like have enthusiasm of energy, which is uncomfortable for some people. Yeah, people break down into three categories. Number one they're like I'm ready to do this, this sounds fun. Number two they're like I don't know, like are you doing it? Am I doing it? Like it's a group decision. And the third type of person is like I don't like this yeah and I say like I don't.
Speaker 2:I'm not trying to say you have to be extroverted to be a leader. I am saying to be comfortable, to be yourself, to be confident, step into power. And so the goal by the end of the day is that these athletes get up and they give like a rah-rah, pump up speech to their team. Their team is supporting them. So I do these types of programs with athletes. I've worked with soccer programs, lacrosse, gymnastics, basketball, and gymnastics always stands out to me because a big part of what I preach is progress, not perfection. And gymnastics was the first group of athletes to challenge me and say we have to be perfect, that is our sport. We have to be perfect. That is the whole. That's how we are judged in our sport and that's how we win in our sport, and then the other
Speaker 2:thing they taught me was you know, when I work with a college basketball team, they might have the I've worked with top 25 programs Like they might have the potential to win it all and they might then go. I worked with guys who are in the pros working with college gymnasts. They might be past their prime Like you, like they're, you've, you've passed If you're 18, 19, 20, 21 years old, you've passed the age of of being in the Olympicsics, if that's the goal, right? So I say that to say I don't have all the answers.
Speaker 2:Like I don't know like and dominique dodds would probably be a much better answer for it because I trust, I trust that organization, I trust her.
Speaker 2:No, exactly and so I think. But the answer I will give is um, I, I also think, parents, we don't. We don't want to feel like so, so like, if we're busy and we're traveling, we got three kids, but then you have that guilt of like, well, I don't want to, like, make a decision that my kid's not going to be in this elite program because it's a burden on me. I want to give everything I can to my kid. That implies that the goal is that they go pro, or the goal is that they play at a high level in college, and that might not be the goal. Again, I have worked with high-level D1 athletes. I've worked with pros and they are the first to tell you that this isn't necessarily worth it. The first episode on my podcast is with a former. Harry Swain played for the Baltimore Ravens. He won four Super Bowls because he won, I think, one as a player and then three as a coach at different organizations. And he says on the podcast he doesn't really like football that much, like it's not his favorite sport.
Speaker 1:He actually, he just was.
Speaker 2:He's like six foot four. He was always really strong. He's naturally great at it, and so he ended up playing for 20 years in the NFL. He likes football, but it's not his favorite sport. It's not his favorite thing to do. And so this notion that the goal is to play at this level or the goal is to play at a high level in college, I don't know, I just don't think that should always be the goal and I don't think that there's an athlete out there that's missing that opportunity because their parents didn't push them into the right thing at a young, young, young age. But listen to your kid, pay attention to your kid, make a decision as a family, like, if you're listening to this and you're like my kid does competitive gymnastics and they love it and we love it and we all love watching it and it's a lot of fun, then do it. I'm not telling you that it's inherently bad.
Speaker 2:I think too many parents just assume it's inherently good when it's a family decision of. What do we really want out of this experience and what do we want to do?
Speaker 1:And I think you said that perfectly about a family decision, right? Like you know the parent being approached about, you know the club sport or committing to dance or gymnastics, something like that. You know it's easy for the parent to be like, oh well, I want to give everything to my kid, but what does your kid want in that situation? You know, like, yes, like what if you made that decision, but are you making the decision for them?
Speaker 2:Right. You know, like when I was young, listen I did play for a club program. Like when I was young, listen, I did play for a club program. And back when we were younger so I grew up in Syracuse there were two elite club teams that I knew of and you had to try out. And because there was only two for the entire Syracuse area, which is a big lacrosse area, I made the team and my parents then were like, do you want to do this? And I was like I do. You could not have convinced me not to do it. I did it. We played a lot. I ended up I stopped playing basketball and soccer, and this was in ninth grade, so by the time I was in high school.
Speaker 1:I was 12.
Speaker 2:And I loved it. I have no regrets. My brother's, 10 years younger than me. By the time he came around, there were 25 teams in Syracuse all calling themselves elite club teams and starting at third grade and convincing parents that kids need to drop these other sports that I cannot wrap my head around and that's really the overarching opinion that I have right is that you know, let's say, gymnastics says your kids got real talent and they should really focus on this.
Speaker 2:I don't see how that should require them to drop other sports and drop other activities right um, it just doesn't make any sense yeah, and there's no research behind that, and so that's the biggest thing is if this becomes a job, which is the other thing I'll say.
Speaker 2:I know I'm jumping around, so I have a lot of experiences that were like that, built to what I'm doing now. I was working with a volleyball program that at the time was ranked 20th in the country and they finished the season, I think, in the sweet 16 really good athletes. A number of them went overseas to play pro volleyball and when I was doing our training I could just I just got this vibe that they weren't having fun and even in my team training like oh, this is fun, this is team building.
Speaker 2:This is core, and so I said that to them. I was like are you guys having fun? And they looked at me like it was a trick question. I was like it's not a trap? I'm curious. We could totally change what we're doing here. Let's go outside. I just don't feel like. And they stared at me like I was an idiot and the one that spoke up and they go no, I haven't had fun playing volleyball in a long time. They go.
Speaker 2:I look at volleyball. I look at playing at this school. It was a it was a power five school. They go. I look at playing at this school as a dream job. I finally got my dream job. I love it. Anytime I step on the court, I look around, I look at the logo. I can't believe I'm here. And it's still a job. It's still something that I feel like I have to do and I have to go to practice. But you give me a day off, oh, that's. That's the best and I just for me. I think we're losing a lot right Even at that level, if, if, kids, young adults, are just not having fun with this anymore because, at some level.
Speaker 2:What's the point if we're not having fun with it? I?
Speaker 1:know well and I think, like, as we wrap up here today, I think the biggest take home message is like in no way are we and are you dissuading parents away from sports and activities. That's absolutely not the message we're actually encouraging. You know well, actually, multi-sport engagement. But you won't be able to engage in multi-sport if, say, you've committed to a program that requires you to be. You know two practices, two games. You know what I mean multiple hours a week, because how are you going?
Speaker 2:to fit in anything else, right? I don't think I'm not here to here to you know, let me put it this way my goal is that kids from 1 to 18 years old are playing multiple sports because, a I think that's fun. B I think that's what kids want to do. C they want to play with their friends, they want to experience things and and the final point is, like I said, look, look up the NCAA lacrosse coaches. They have a whole video on as people recruiting the best lacrosse players in the country. They want multi-sport athletes. Usa Hockey has done this. I worked with USA Lacrosse on building out their athlete development program, where their goal is to say they want to grow the game. The game is going to be in the Olympics in LA, and so the goal of USA lacrosse for the past decade has been how do we get more people playing our sport?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so you would think it's counterintuitive to say play a lot of sports, but they don't want just more participants, they want a better game, they want better athletes. And what the research tells them, tells us, and that what we would preach is multi-sport kids doing different things when you're learning how to play defense in basketball, even though that might not be your number one sport.
Speaker 2:you're learning how to play defense in lacrosse or in soccer. When you're learning how to run around in football, you're learning how to dodge. If you're learning how to skate in hockey, holy moly. You're learning a lot of skills that go into that, and you're also playing sports that you might not be the best at. Let's say, your kid is the absolute best baseball player. Get them involved in football or soccer, where they're not the best, and so they can learn what it's like to be led, because you're not a captain on that team.
Speaker 1:They can learn what it's like to fail.
Speaker 2:They can have empathy for their fellow teammates and they can start to learn that they have some natural ability. Because it's easy to assume if I train four days a week and I'm really focused, like okay, then everybody can do this, and then you do the same thing for another sport and you have a different result and it's like okay. So there's some other things that play into this and so I just cannot, you know, preach enough the value of multi-sport obviously I'm doing it with the littlest kids, right, and I think, I think it's obvious why we want those littlest kids doing that.
Speaker 2:And it goes on up to the highest level, and I'm not the only one saying it. Go ahead, google long-term athletic development Google. Lebron James just went viral for talking about how he never had a trainer until he was in the pros.
Speaker 2:Luka Doncic was interviewed on Steve Nash's podcast because he has a foundation whose goal is to create more multi-sport experiences for kids, because he grew up in a in a poorer country that didn't have these opportunities, and he his study shows there's a higher percentage of pros coming from those environments than from America, where we have a system that is having kids in these club programs, these trainings. If anything, what we're seeing is 75 percent of kids dropping out of sports by 13.
Speaker 2:Whereas in the rest of Europe. They're seeing kids that are thriving and playing sports for life, Because that's the other thing. To end it on it's not about, in my opinion being pro. It's about a lifelong love of physical activity and sports. It's about someone that it's just who you are.
Speaker 2:You don't ever go through a span of life where you're not working out, you're not playing tennis or pickleball or golf or whatever. Just you love sports, you love physical activity. It's a part of who you are and how you show up, and that's when you instill it in a kid at a young age.
Speaker 1:That just becomes how they live their life, which is ultimately socially, emotionally, physically a better way to live. Yeah, I love that and, oh my gosh, my head is spinning because I feel like we could probably have about eight more podcasts.
Speaker 2:I wrapped up by giving you like we'll leave it there.
Speaker 1:We'll probably have to have you back on, because that is, that is awesome. Well, thank you so much for all these nuggets today, bobby. And again this is a plug, if you have, and I know a bunch of your summer classes are almost like 90% full, but be sure to check his website for some openings. I think you might have some Saturday availabilities.
Speaker 2:I was going to say the enrollments are full even Saturday. Now, oh, there it is, and you can always do. I reserve seats for free demo days. So if you go on my website, there's a link that says free demo day. You can sign up for any class for that.
Speaker 1:And then there's also drop-in days, where you can sign up for multiple drop-in days. Um, you could sign up for nine drop-in days. At this point it would be, you know whatever six, whatever's left, right, um. So you still can sign up for class using the demo day or the drop-in day perfect and um, and then I know, eventually you'll be rolling out your fall classes, so those will be coming soon.
Speaker 1:So if you didn't make it in the summer. If your summer's too busy, be on the lookout for that too. But other than that, thank you so much again.
Speaker 2:Thanks for having me on.
Speaker 1:Thanks for tuning into this episode of MomTalk Maryland. If you loved it, leave a review, share it with a friend or tag me at thecolumbiamom on Instagram. I'd love to hear what you think and don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode. Until next time, keep showing up, keep supporting local and keep being the incredible mom, woman, human that you are.